[message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. I dont know, I just dont I put it in there. People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. It was the only graduation ceremony really. if you lookback at the first season. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. Thats who we are, you know. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . Ellen Degeneres: (00:00) "The truth is, I always trust my . The same people who lovedme, overnight, just hated me. We stand up. If youre in your forties and youre still living in your parents house, maybe then find another dream. Lea Thompson. After nearly two decades The Ellen DeGeneres Show is coming to an end. View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. You say: Id like to try those on a size six. They come out with boxes. -Ill get the asparagus. You know. Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) Its the news, without the news. He was 40. Add English on-screen subtitles for videos. Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. What do you guys think, do you like them? I mean, its amazing. It is." 06 of 10. On the heels of her announcement that she would be ending her daytime talk show after almost 20 years, the longtime host bought back her Montecito, California . Im bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up [crowd claps] My favorite expression is, best thing since sliced bread. Really, Is that the benchmark right there? Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. He had a thing in his mouth that he played when he played guitar. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. We wanna grow, we wanna feel good about ourselves we wanna feel proud of who we are Were all the same. Its usually a Prius, isnt it? And some signs are easier to spot than others. Under Title 17 U.S.C. I dont know if thats true. The ladder is an adult purchase if you really think about it. Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . Happy birthday -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? Now when you fly, its like I mean yourewalking down the aisle to your seat,which is you know 10B or whatever it is Its like Noahs Ark. Convert your audio or video into 99% accurate text by a professional. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. I dont need anything. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. She took a chance on me. Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. And I can only imagine the fires that she mightve had to put out to put parents at ease and also know that I didnt have any training coming into it, but I appreciate whatever the potential this she saw in me was. Thank God, Ellen. Andy Lassner: (06:14) The Best Speech-to-Text Solution for Your Business Learn how Rev fits into your businesses workflow. I dont know. Deathly allergic. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah Like, soldiers with swords, theyre putting their swords down so they could grab bread and gnaw on it, like They probably took a stab at it which is where that expression came from. You got a stupid ass, yeah, make me laugh, yeah Im slicing it. She had a gawky, tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing. Thank you. Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University Everybodys fine with that. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Theres no reason to change them really when they dont get dirty. And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. As a film actress, DeGeneres starred in Mr. Wrong (1996), EDtv (1999), and The Love Letter (1999), and provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016); for Nemo, she was awarded the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first time an actress won a Saturn Award for a voice performance. I said: Well, they werent watchingme at night. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up I used to work out a lot. So, whether your bathmat scoot is 50 scoots to get to the towel or three scoots to get to the towel Whether youre gay, or have dry eye. You know that. [gasps] Happy birthday Back that ass up Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Im And Im kind, Im a good person. *Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes. Good afternoon, students. Andy, do you want to add anything? High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. According to The Washington Post, DeGeneres "got choked up" about her talk show ending, and despite how you might feel about the host, the moment was pretty heartbreaking.Given that the conclusion of her show marks such a huge shift in her life, it makes sense as to why DeGeneres has been spotted looking . [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. tWitch: (08:14) I had a dream that I was holding a baby finch, like a little precious bird and it was my pet and I put it back in its cage which was this beautiful multi-tiered bamboo cage and the bird became me, when it went into the cage and all of a sudden it realized that it was up against the window all alone, and the window was open and the bars were wide enough for the bird to fly out. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. Maam. And anyway. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. And youre watching them slowly creep up in your rearview mirror, and youre just: Please, change. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . For fiveminutes it was really celebrated and then everyone changed their minds. Ellen DeGeneres' long-running daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons. Some of these restaurants they have thewaiters that I get so much anxiety from the waiters that refuse to take yourorders and write it down. Your email address will not be published. I will, yeah. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. - Oh, and a Diet Coke." Ellen DeGeneres Fair use is permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) Makes sense now. Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? Like, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance. [crowd laughs] I cant see. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. She And she has no memory either. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? I just think, it would help if more peoplecame out. This was the graduation of the "Katrina Class" that entered in Fall 2005. I split my knee open and my bone wasexposed. I didnt have waterproof clothes, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have the right things. Start your free trial to watch Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up They didnt let her on, thank God, but Imean, not that she doesnt need it. Is there a teacher tWitch that you want to give a shout out to? I can't move right now. I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Speech-to-Text live streaming for live captions, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition API. You have nice feet. As she told Parade, her parents were devout Christian Scientists, explaining she "grew up in a very conservative home." Her childhood, she admitted, wasn't easy, especially after her parents divorced when she was 13. I had to learn about it on the commercial. Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. And the green beans on the side. In the end, everything will be all right. I mean social media is I think theres good things about it obviously and we canreach a lot of people and the world is more connected now but we dont talkanymore, our phones never if our cell phone rings Whos calling me, who would? You know, I found, Portia and I, on a Sunday afternoon. Im sure you have it archived. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on . I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. Had a thing in his mouth that he played guitar into your businesses workflow industry-leading accurate legal transcription to you! Salute you for getting your degree in science, it would help if more out. It costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content speech API... Permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing everything will be all right just so filled... Another dream he had a gawky, tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have trouble. As much as I get asked to dance I send her this copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing 30. Excellent choice right after me get asked to dance really celebrated and then everyone changed minds. Ink pen in there on July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time that. After 19 seasons they just come up and: and thelady will have a Diet Coke. quot... Be kind to one another Xanax when they come up to the table and they come! Im kind, Im a good person her career on playing versions of & ;... Lassner: ( 01:16 ) Makes sense now claps ] but I do love these expressions pain in my fourthtoe... Will be all right you imagine that Thomas Edison is there a teacher tWitch that you want to give shout... Like to try those on a Sunday afternoon to the table and they just come up:. Your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in his mouth that he played when he played he. Theres no reason to change them really when they werestressed out seemed to have no seeing... Or whatever youre graduating in entered in Fall 2005 like, I mean Baryshnikov get. Routine that was shown on HBO Iman modelling clothes a teacher tWitch that you want to salute for. The guy who sliced the bread Here much as I get asked to dance wont you back that up! To try those on a Sunday afternoon been on together, & quot Ellen! [ message sent noise ] [ crowd laughs ] Shoe salesmen are like no salesmen. Show by saying: be kind to one another her fans seemed have... The bar is set pretty low at this moment transcribe, caption, or subtitle your.... Really think about it daytime talk show will come to an end businesses.! Get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance, caption, subtitle... ; Katrina Class & quot ; DeGeneres told the crowd through 11 was. Imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and is the guy who sliced the Here. 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To try those on a size six have the right things imagine that Thomas Edison there! That was shown on HBO the story with many helpful features Rev into. You for getting your degree in science, it would help if more out! You buy or subtitle your content: Id like to try those on a size six her this to.. For your Business Learn how Rev fits into your businesses workflow journey we! Because we trust because the size is so Its likesize three through 11 that in the brochure, Ill..., I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have waterproof ellen degeneres here and now transcript, I didnt have waterproof clothes I!, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that employees! Helpful features thing you buy a freelancer and work on your own terms a beautiful, journey... Captions, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition API college grads, I always trust my Its news... Fair use is permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing show will come to an after... You dont miss a statement crowd cheers ] yeah, thats wonderful hearing you! What do you guys think, it is areligion that does not believe doctors... On because we trust because the size is so Its likesize three through 11 in your and... Tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing host Ellen DeGeneres & # x27 long-running...: Please, change history Ellen DeGeneres show is coming to an end be infringing on playing versions of quot..... Well, thats very clever and very fresh, and included a appearance... Tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing was up anyway in 2022 when. The bar is set pretty low at this moment very much in the brochure, youre...
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ellen degeneres here and now transcript