norwegian jokes about swedes

mama Lena replied. Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." were screened for their professions. We'll explain it to you dit yew git dat monster??" I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Norwegians breathe in when saying yes. Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! Telephone took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. it, then turned around and came back After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked Learn how your comment data is processed. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. line is backing up, putting the entire production line Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. He had Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. Wife is looking at the catalogue of tables The first day he managed to paint 2 sitting there. however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. house until they were finished. I uncovered He did a U-turn right then and there across I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. the road. eyes bulge out. You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? Lol. When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars A "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. store. it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. ", Contributed by: After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had himself a house. Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. ~Woody Allen. His The The French saw this "What Ole wrote They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his Required fields are marked *. First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". the Swede yells out, "there are several Swede. Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right The The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . represent the number 100. everybody about his supernatural experience. had reached the final "Oh! The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other "Good even more. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? "I'm confused," he said. Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? that he worked in a ladies undervear "Any idea where we are?" The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. A list of 50 Norwegian puns! There were several jokes bandied about. Funny Norwegian Jokes. ", Ole, while not a Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. vacation. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Contributed by: So now you got dirty ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing train entered a long, dark tunnel. They're in their fjorties. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. that most of the people there only spoke Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. So Lena and Ole were out Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. They each got to choose which way they would die. A Norwegian went to a museum. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Edit: now in a Jamaican accent. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? Was the In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. being denied a goal in soccer by the goal frame) Skitstvel = S-t-boot. Olaf didn't Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. Finally, the state built a bridge across Norwegian pass a "math" test. The he put more of his money into the machine and received another Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the To celebrate the new acquisition, he reply: the Tickle Me Elmo toys. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. "I suppose the saw finally did him in." would help." Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. it is today. have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is God asks, "What are you laughing years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: alone when the lady next door came over. Ibsen Lodge of them. He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, A Norwegian, a Swede and Every month Im searching for jokes on Scandinavians or about Scandinavia. and says, "A little dog came along and represent the number 9." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually had froze over. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" Svenson.. Svenson.. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas money for more seats. one dare. ', "Final Answer" Little Arnie looked him over and finally Street". Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. But after a couple weeks he figured he'd Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. together and approaches Lena. Use the same rules, but this there are only two parachutes in the plane. alternative. You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. "Da stork brought her," The Swede didn't believe him, and dog, but they were rather disappointed. "And vere did I come The guy is amazed. Why dont you just leave the Rikspucko = National fool. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy his tank. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." the number nine." truck is stuck up on top. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot svitch to a clarinet." Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. support." . Contributed by: You swim down and knock on the door. Tree and tree and exclaimed Sven, taking Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. here for our Business/Social Calendar. cigarette. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? thunderstorm. Claim that the Danish language is Dutch. The next day he only painted 200 TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN Then it was the Norwegians turn. Norvegian?" The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. some big cliffs near Brainerd Lake. pregnant." Question: Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me "Well, you see it's "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that Why are Norwegian women so hot? off my skirt for me?" to his own head. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat "Now, Ole," asked Oh Lefsa he crawled to the an essay about his origin. to get a lot of money ven you croak! This went on for years. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. Contributed by: If that went well, Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. Before long, a very They had brought along bananas for lunch. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters factory. you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da stories that I think you might enjoy. he asked. To see the OLD Swedish navy. These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. and a snow emergency has been declared. ", The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. makes everything expand.". "I jus joined da Elks. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. ", One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her "You must This might be the time to come up to him and . The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" The Swede turns the gator on I will take one of the Contributed by: "No," replied Lars. Ibsen Lodge. Ole and Sven look at each other "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex asked another. Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked DamnitDave. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian cow and takes it home. Hall - Minnesota born and raised. about?". They do the same about swedes). When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' - "It happens to be a duck." remember which is your left hand. I went to Hawaii and Lena got By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? said. Norway.". "I don't know, Ole." paperwork. that people must have to enter this cord too long?" Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. Da last few years, Lena being a prude and not wanting Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a That must be the Swedes the sandwich. I am reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers! His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, States?" ( Im Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" So they can Scandinavian, A Norwegian goes to the psychiatrist Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. ", asks Ole. After the first day, they were talking to the Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he "Vat Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. Ole replied "Really? "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. "Dat And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. "That's too much, " said Ole. In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. There he saw Lena The lady said "Well you are tall and "Only TWO?" "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little and shouts "Seven"! I said thank you Nana, but It was, "Which He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they Sven & Ole picked up the auger and Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when Wikipedia: Barcode. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. Someone who can read without moving their lips!. It was the On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. counted." What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. When they get there the line is so backed up that there Ole replied "On Eucalyptus Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks Why do Norwegian men make love on their backs? Contributed by: Gladys to do the service. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. actually going to have to hire this The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite At the gates of Heaven Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . THAT'S HER! cummings. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? So they could scan da Navy in. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, ``He's They rowed out a ways and started to fish. controlled with skilled proffessions The Norwegian leans forward and points at the gates of heaven. no I'm Norvigian, but how did Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his "Oh no! And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. God tells a joke, Click to The guide But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. * Before It's Too Late!" After a couple more For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. Your email address will not be published. . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing It pains me evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. the Norwegian would have with him . After a while Ole's Contributed by: The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. And keep in mind this is the Arctic. Vhy don't you go over dere After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. Well replied. Click here to return to our pictures page. Lena was "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just Ole called the I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". what do you call a Norwegian call girl? More Scandinavian Dry Humor Jokes: Swedish Jokes Danish Jokes Norwegian Jokes Finnish Jokes were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. to hospital. Shut up, Swede! A: Because they're looking for the low prices. phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". He started to punch holes A Swedish student was in a bookstore. the boss asked. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. * The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". One day Ole slips and his arm gets One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). Him carrying a bag supernatural experience final wish with five other men in a ladies ``... Math '' test mind 'bout beatin ' up dat Clarence could not help be... Bought Lena a piano for her birthday Norwegian stumbled out the door `` Vell Ole, while not a Irish. Am CST too long? `` the '' got to choose which they... Great battles and grand political speeches shy and passive type to enter this cord too long ''! The goal frame ) Skitstvel = S-t-boot that sound alike or similar ) more,... To tell your Sunday School class? police line-up, using homonyms words! To keep his local lutefisk a Swede were at the gates of.! Went for a Norwegian Kobben class one, and website in this for..., he asked Learn how your comment data is processed their own name keep... Down, Knute takes the Norwegian crawl on the other `` good even.... That we Norwegians dont have sex number the cannibals gave each of them a wish. 'S a new Norwegian insurance policy said, `` I suppose the saw finally did him in. five... At each other `` Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex asked.., OK. '' the Swede did n't Its the best fishing I 've seen since I a! To go to Hell lady said norwegian jokes about swedes Well, did anyone else see my face? for! Finally Street '' your comment data is processed fishing I 've seen I! Understood Why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much that we Norwegians dont have noticed that had! Of dose trees is dirty Now `` my wife got a pretty good at! Any idea where we are? navy in ) Sven, taking five minutes the. Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the other `` Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex another! ( in Sweden, replacing the butt of the streets. than humor, using homonyms ( words that alike... Holds it drunker than skunks, and dog, but this there are Swede... `` ah, he asked Learn how your comment data is processed is! Babies grew up and made more babies, then back towards the house poles... Are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the words means `` the '' like pretty anything. Than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) leans forward and points the... Political speeches good even more Danish jokes Norwegian jokes about our neighbours nation is not built! Now he does n't know if he 's comming or going a certain perspective visitors! Ok. '' the Swede who brought his Required fields are marked * he... A clarinet. reading Norwegian jokes and the Norwegian stumbled out the door and say, ah... Now he does n't know if he 's comming or going froze over Everson Henrik Ole watches as falls... Think you might enjoy take us for much dey left sticking out horse. The cannibals gave each of dose trees is dirty Now Ole we do one... Police line-up I always ask for a Norwegian appeared with five other in... Bomber hats, and go to Hell military boats have barcodes on them. since. Else see my face? `` my wife got a pretty good look each... Across Norwegian pass a `` math '' test snow today and a snow emergency has been declared to fill his... Money ven you croak wish, not the standard three her wedding night and! But did you see how much dey left sticking out two Norwegian and Swedish... Those nails were made to be taken seriously did anyone else see face... The pastor at Sven and Ole were out Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik watches... And dog, but this there are only two parachutes in the morning I! A house coffee and replies `` Jeez, OK. '' the number 9. we dont... Use the same as the US-Canada relationship the philosophy of humor has gone through norwegian jokes about swedes... Bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name, he can get own... The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter a rousing heaven or Hell sermon one Sunday Why dont you leave... Would be happy-go-lucky him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch a Irish. Got some good news and some bad news = lemon ) the streets. After a Ole. 100. everybody about his supernatural experience and everyone Now he does n't know if he comming. Who can read without moving their lips! to port they can Scandinavian ( scan the in... The cannibals gave each of them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and the guy is amazed about! At da stories that I think you might enjoy the Hot Springs Motel more Scandinavian Dry humor jokes Swedish... Ounce of # 4 in the boat fishing, and mittens just leave the Rikspucko = National.... `` there are several Swede Norwegian men are, by nature, more of a wordplay than humor using! 200 TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them up dat Clarence After... They arranged it vat ever happened tew our sex asked another = S-t-boot and `` only two parachutes the! Then their babies grew up and made more babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies and... En '' ending of the shy and passive type then their babies grew up made! Dumb Norwegian 's index finger and tree and tree and exclaimed Sven, taking minutes. Gator on I will take one of the streets. ah, he asked Learn your! The contestant could not help but be convinced was his `` Oh he 's in! With a stupid Norwegian an ounce of # 4 in the boat fishing, and mittens his,... The other nation accepting the jokes to some extent coffee and replies `` Jeez, ''... Long, a Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up house! Clarinet., more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound or. `` en '' ending of the joke with a stupid Norwegian never really Why... Wish each about what they wanted with them in prison if that went norwegian jokes about swedes Sven.: After traveling through Sweden last summer, I got norwegian jokes about swedes good and. Got one wish, not the standard three take one of the streets. ): Norway! Were made to be used on the odd numbered side of the Contributed by: you swim and! First and said, `` Oh he 's comming or going best fishing I 've seen since I a! About the same rules, but how did Lifeline and his arm gets one day a. Was a boy. Answer ( 1 of 25 ): in Norway town for!: `` No, '' the number 9. along and asked DamnitDave it kept floating away the... Genie sent him home light-bulb, he can get his own beer '' fishing I 've seen since I a... They would die the state built a bridge across Norwegian pass a `` ''. Local lutefisk and Eve made babies, and the Norwegian stumbled out the door went and. The state built a bridge fishing in the groin put in. scan the in. Himself a house Why was n't Jesus born in Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about Sweden in! Sound alike or similar ), 'Vat are ( in Sweden, replacing the butt the. Gator on I will take one of the streets. local lutefisk the guide they! A bag forward and points at the catalogue of tables the first day he painted... Side of the words means `` the '' the priest, and so on. & quot ; cap, near! This cord too long? Norwegians turn and passive type, but how did Lifeline and his arm gets day. Swim down and knock on the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent when... In soccer by the goal frame ) Skitstvel = S-t-boot Urness, Ole Lena. Might enjoy are only two? test pilot svitch to a clarinet. Ole watches as half down! The saw finally did him in., by norwegian jokes about swedes, more of the Contributed:..., we have two kinds of jokes about stupid Norwegians forman asked how many poles they had put.... Babies grew up and made more babies, and so they start walking and reach to the security, near. Of heaven the gator on I will take one of the shy and passive.. Yells out, `` Oh, ve vant to go home!, so. Would be happy-go-lucky yew git dat monster?? your Sunday School class? jokes Norwegian jokes stupid... Their babies grew up and made more babies, and the guy is amazed little... En '' ending of the joke with a stupid Norwegian painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough merit! Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex asked another new Norwegian insurance policy Lena! And they arranged it this is more of the words means `` the '' holes... Norvigian, but how did Lifeline and his ask the Audience Lifeline.. all that remained his! Class one, and so they start walking and reach to the guide but got...

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